An elderly man down in Alabama had owned a big ol’ farm ever since he could remember. It was passed down to him when his daddy died.
He had a great big pond out back. It was huge and nicely shaped for swimming in. In fact, he used to take dips himself as a younger man. He’d fixed it up real nice, with nice new picnic tables and some beautiful apple and peach trees all about.
One night the farmer decided he’d head over to the pond to check on it and maybe paddle his feet some. As he left, he grabbed a big ol’ five gallon bucket so he could grab some ripened fruit on his return.
As he approached the pond, though – something was different. He could hear something. The sound of splashing and laughter. There was a group of young women skinny dipping in his pond!
He politely cleared his throat to alert the naked ladies as to his presence and averted his gaze.
Shocked, one of the women shouted to him, ‘Pervert! Don’t stare at us! You know, we’re not coming out of here until you leave!’
The old man shrugged and without batting an eyelid said to the girls, ‘I didn’t come down here to spy on you ladies swimming naked or even make you get out of my pond naked, y’know…’
He held up his bucket and rattled it…
‘I’m here to feed the alligator.’
Some old timers can still think fast!